Peace

 Peace - just saying the word sounds peaceful.  Isn’t peace something we all seek after?  The noise and chaos of the world surely doesn’t bring us peace.  Our families and the dynamics that live within them often cause us worry and don’t bring us peace.  And if we really are honest, is peace something even possible this side of Heaven?   Can we walk this journey in peace?  Can we trust the One who promises to give us the peace we crave?

“He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on You because He trusts in You?” Isaiah 26:3 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“My peace I leave you my peace I give you…….” This scripture verse is found in John 14:27.  Jesus is speaking to his disciples, telling them that his peace is a gift that is different from the peace the world offers, and he assures them, "Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid".  

Trusting in God is hard but I’m learning that it doesn’t have to be.  IF I believe Jesus is who He says He is (and I do) and IF I believe He has a plan and purpose for all things here (and I do) then I can trust Him with it all…..my life, my family, and my Eternal Salvation.  Even when we are afraid we can put our trust in Him and as He promises, “He will keep us in perfect peace if we trust in Him….” Our Lord is faithful and He doesn’t lie.

Our lives change - our families change but our Jesus never does.  His Word tells us as much in Hebrews 13:8 - “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.”  

Help me Lord to always trust You and to keep my eyes on You so I can be filled up with Your peace.  

It’s All Jesus

🤔 Ahhh, it feels like a writing day.  You know me, I get all this stuff inside and it bubbles right out of my fingertips.  There is no holding it in.  And I love sharing it with all of you who get this.  I’ve led many, many women groups and whether they are the  “in person” groups or the online ones, there is one thing that holds true with every, every study and that is we are all alike in many, many ways while also being quite different.  We all desire to be loved and cared about.  We all are very aware of our sins and don’t want to sin.  We all know that it is ALL JESUS and without Him are sins are not forgiven.  We all recognize how we need each other to love, support and pray for and we all love God’s Word.  I’m so thankful the Lord brings His children together and connects our Spirits as His children.

Out walking today singing praises and praying there are all these different lyrics running through my heart and mind that reminded me of how truly GREAT He is and how this journey is hard and joyful for everyone…..But….HE IS GOD and He’s got us………..

🎵 ✝️ God is relentless in His pursuit of us…….

🎵✝️ Only He is worthy…….

🎵✝️ I will praise you in this storm……

🎵✝️ It’s just like Jesus to give me strength when I need   it

🎵✝️Only He is worthy……….

🎵✝️ I get down on my knees many days and pray come Lord Jesus….let today be the day.

🎵✝️ Joyful, Joyful we adore thee…….

This past weekend at Bible class our Pastor talked about just resting at the foot of the cross and just letting ourselves be who we are.  In essence he was talking about us wearing masks to hide our true selves.  So often, we walk around with these phony smiles on our faces uttering the words….”I’m fine!” Those who know me know that I talk about this A LOT.  We can’t have real Christian friendships without being REAL and that means sharing our weaknesses.  Those who know me, know me well…..Jesus loves me and I love Him……I carry around a deep seated Joy because I belong to Jesus………I struggle with depression at times………..I have a little bit of social anxiety……..I love being home with my people………I’m happiest when I can sit with a Christian sister(s) or brother(s) and just talk about this journey with our loving Father (my absolute favorite thing to do) I’m a foodie and love sugar (can you say ADDICTED)….I love dogs (especially mine)…….I can get caught up in gossip……..I can think of myself more highly than I ought (forgive me Lord)……AND the list could go on and on.   But, yet, Jesus loves me.  Bizarre!  

Man, I’m thankful.  Thankful for my Christian family and friends.  I’m thankful God has given me the gift of sharing His love with others.  I’m thankful I have others to hold me up when I need holding up.  I’m thankful for those in my life who speak Truth to me and remind me always of God’s relentless love.  I’m thankful for when I do not trust God and have doubts about Him, He comes to me in Word and Sacrament and reminds me, ‘Mary Jo…you are MINE.  You are My forgiven child’ (Just WOW!). I’m thankful the weight of the world is not mine to carry.  Jesus says to me (and to you too) - “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. Seriously, can you think of a more wonderful request from Jesus?  He says, “come to me and I will give you rest.”  Jesus will carry our burden and we CAN rest in Him.  “Be still and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10

Christian family and friends…..”real” people……”real” feelings……The Joy of the Lord……strengths and weaknesses….it’s who we are….EACH of us and EACH of us are loved in the most INCREDIBLE, UNFATHOMABLE way….by Jesus who died for us and rose again.

Praise the Lord. 

What Matters Most

 Do you ever sit back and think ….. is this it?  Do you ever wonder what’s next? Do you remember 9/11/2021 and how you felt?

Some days (many days actually), the older I get I realize how unimportant most everything is.  Really!  In the blink of an eye all could be gone and will be one day.  For those who died on 9/11/2021 and for those whose lives were forever changed on that day, never in their wildest dreams could they have imagined this would happen.  But it did! 

As we listen to the many reports from 9/11 one thing we’ve heard a lot is that many of those who died called or sent a text to their loved ones beforehand to say “I love you!”  Also, another report I’ve heard a lot is that many of those who were waiting to be rescued (and most never could be) prayed to God.  I heard no reports of people asking how much money they had, or if their “toys” would be safe.  We didn’t hear those reports because I’m sure no one said that.  Why? Because those things don’t matter.

In Psalm 39:5(b) King David says, - “Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.”

And also in Psalm 39:7 we read … “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.”

There is only one thing that matters and that is knowing where your salvation comes from.  Jesus is the Savior of the world and He died for our sins and rose again on the third day conquering death and the grave. Believing in Jesus and putting your faith and trust in Him is what matters.  By believing in your Savior Jesus we will go from this life to Eternal life with Him.  Now THAT matters.

God….our family and serving the Lord is truly all that matters.

These are just a few of my thoughts from 9/11/2021 and again today as I am reminded of what is truly important.

Fix Your Eyes

 👇A friend shared this verse this morning and it really got me thinking.

🤔Think about it - really think about - 

👉”The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.” Psalm 90:10

🩷 Of course some have passed away much sooner but as I think on this and the undo stress and worry I put upon myself many days of my life I see here what a true waste of time that is.  I have one goal - one hope - Heaven!  My hope is not a “boy I hope I get to Heaven” kind of hope but the confident Hope I have because Jesus made the way for me to go to Heaven - by His death on the cross and His rising again.  There is a saying we’ve all heard, “to keep your eyes on the prize.”  To better state this though I’ll share what Hebrews 12:2 tells us:

🩷”Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

‼️Now that right there deserves my attention and obedience.  Fix my eyes on Jesus.   

🩷 As Psalm 90:10 also rightly shares, “our life is but toil and trouble and they are soon gone.” Praise God.  Not because our lives are full of much toil and trouble (and many good things) but because they will soon be gone.  This life is a blip in the ocean compared to Eternity.  

🩷Let us fix our eyes on Jesus - let us walk in His truth - let us love the “brothers” (and sisters) - let us abide in Christ and He will abide with us.  

‼️Here today, gone tomorrow as it were - quite literally!

🩷I am reminded to not waste today on anything but serving Christ wherever that may be.  In my home - in my family - in my community and with my Words.  I am reminded to not waste my time worrying about things that in the end truly don’t matter.  Love matters most and in the words of John 3:16 we read the ultimate gift of love…..”For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have Eternal Life.”

New Mercies

“God’s mercies are new every morning” Lamentations

Every morning…..every day…..He gives us new mercies.  Receive them.  They are a free gift.  Live in the Light of Him….walk with Him.  His way is the best way.  Love those around you.  Look to others before self.  Serve with a glad heart because you are loved by your Savior, Jesus, who died a sinners death….the one we deserve….and yet He never sinned.

Compassion…..from Him to us always.  May we give that compassion away freely just as we freely receive.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3: 22-23

#randomethoughtsonMonday

#sermonchallenges

#walkinthelight 

The Journey And The Blessings June 2025

 It’s been 20 years since my life changed.  I know, I know, I share this every year around this time but I share it because it is that important to me.  You see, without going through all that I did I wouldn’t be the Mary Jo I am today.  There is nothing spectacular about me at all BUT God living in me and teaching me all He has taught me is VERY SPECTACULAR and it makes me a very happy and thankful person.  And sharing what I know is true about God and life is something I will always be committed to until my dying breath.

Eighteen years ago I took a phone call with words that changed my life forever.  I was told I had cancer and it was very aggressive and invasive.  I was home alone when I took that call.   I prayed to God in a way I never had prayed before.  I sat down….I looked up….and I said, “Lord, I don’t know what I’m about to go through but please use all I will go through for your Glory.”  That was it.  Short, simple and from a heart that was in shock, afraid and very sad.  You see, in all honesty, I thought I was going to die.  In our family, (my mom’s side) all first born daughters had passed away before the age of 50.  My mom passed at age 47.  Her mom in her early 40’s and her mom in her 40’s also.  I was next - or so I believed.  Me being the first born daughter in this generation, I was quite certain breast cancer would be the way I would die.

My thoughts were very scattered.  My life.  My God.  My Eternal Home.  Could I live as a child of God, with peace, going through what I was about to go through?  Could I still proclaim God was so very good as chemo wracked my body and my hair fell out?  And the worst thought of all was, could I still really talk about Jesus with others with the JOY I had always had for Him?  I wanted to but I wasn’t quite sure about it because I surely wasn’t feeling all too joyful towards God. But I really wanted others to see that EVEN IF my life wasn’t what I wanted it to be, my God was still EVERYTHING I knew He was BUT I was struggling with it a little bit also.  You see, my mom died of cancer at age 47 and I was very specific in my prayers to God that I did NOT want Him to allow cancer to touch me.  As a matter of fact I remember quite specifically praying that “He could give me anything else but not that.”  Oh the arrogance of my prayers, right?  Like I know better than God what my life should look like.  I’m happy He didn’t listen to my prayers.  

As those beginning days began to take shape….appointment on top of appointment, surgery scheduled, a chemo plan put into place, etc., this prayer became a prayer I prayed fervently……… “Oh Lord, please help me live well during this time of struggle and if I will die from this cancer, help me to also die well with praises for You always being on my lips.  Let others see that my love for you is not based on my circumstances but is based on Your love for me no matter what my life looks like.”  I wanted this more than anything else.

Fast forward to today…..God is good.  He walked with me then and He walks with me now. Walking through that “valley” time, God was with me.  He brought me out of that “valley” time but He did not bring me out the same person.  He brought me out a changed person - a person who was transformed by the power of God and His Word which sustained me through many, many dark days.   I spent many hours on my knees in prayer and I was stripped bare (quite literally) and this was a most special and blessed time for me. I am not saying it was easy time,  I’m saying it was a special and blessed time even through many tears.  It was what I needed to come face to face with my life, my mortality and things I struggled with back then.  God taught me the truly important lessons and I am so thankful.  I’ve learned what matters most.  I’ve learned that loving one another is so important because life is so very short.  Quit picking at each other and finding fault with everyone else - my goodness, who do we think we are?  I’ve learned to live each day as if it were your last and EACH day you are given you should live following God who loves you more than anyone else.  I’ve learned how to look at this life differently.  It’s important, yes, but not as important of what comes after this life.  We have work to do while we are here - sharing the Gospel and serving others.  As I get further and further out from that time in my life I have to often remind myself of the many lessons I’ve learned and this is one of the reasons I write this annual letter.  It’s good for me and it brings Glory to God.

I will end with a special song of Praise - 

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow; Praise Him all creatures here below; Praise Him above the heavenly hosts; Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.”

Amen

Joyful

I haven’t written a blog post in a while and I usually don’t write one until I “feel” filled up inside with lots of words that need to come out.  Today is that day.

My heart and mind are full.  Full of words...full of Joy and full of so many thank you moments.  In this world that is crazy and unprecedented during this COVID time, I am joyful.  I am not joyful over sickness, death and sadness.  I am not joyful because so many have lost jobs and there is so much uncertainty.  I am not joyful that houses of Worship have been closed because of COVID spreading.  None of these things bring joy to me.  I see fighting amongst friends in the name of politics and I see fighting amongst politicians on who is right and who is wrong.  Nope, doesn’t me bring joy at all.

As we walk through this uncertain time, I remind myself that COVID or not, nothing on this side of Heaven is ever certain.  Nothing.  This “time” is just another reminder that uncertainty exists for us all.  “Here today, gone tomorrow,” as it were.  I am reminded  in the Book of Job, that “the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the Name of the Lord.”  (Job 1:21 ESV).  Am I joyful when uncertainty exists?  Am I joyful when the Lord has “taken away” from me?  No, I’m not.  At least as far as earthly joy goes.  But I am joyful.  Joyful because I know who is Sovereign over it all.  I am joyful because whatever uncertainty comes my way I have a Savior who never changes.  He is always the same, yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8 ESV). He reminds me, in His Word, that this certainly is not the end of the story.  He reminds me, in His Word, that I have a job to do.....we all have a job to do.  We need to proclaim the Gospel to the ends of the earth and “love our neighbor as ourself.” (Matthew 22:39). We need to share the joy of having a Savior who died for our sins and rose again on the third day.  We need to share the hope that is only found in Him .  He, Jesus, is our Peace.  (Ephesians 2:14).   This brings me joy...it brings me purpose...it brings certainty to my heart.

As I think on these last few months and the totally different way of life that has existed in some shape or form for us all, I can think of so many reasons to be thankful.  Technology has brought us together in ways we never could have imagined.  Worship and Bible study could still happen.  Different, yes, but it happened nonetheless.  “Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ” (Romans 8:38 ESV) - no nothing.  Where the Word exists, there He is.  I am reminded, in that certain Word, that my God is surprised by nothing.   “God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose.”  (Romans 8:28 ESV).   Our God is faithful and His plan is perfect.  Through death, sickness, job loss or any other calamity, my God...our God...is here.  The world can take from me what it will, but no one can take my Jesus from me.  My salvation and hope is in Him and Him alone and this brings my heart joy.

I am thankful that God’s Word touches hearts and brings people to Him.  His Word, it is transforming and  “never returns void - always accomplishing what it was purposed to do.” (Isaiah 55:11 ESV).  If I have nothing at all....nothing...yet have Jesus, I have everything.

I pray His Word touches you and your heart.  Let Him in... “He stands at the door and knocks.” (Rev. 3:20 ESV). This world...it is only temporary.  Our pain and our sadness will end.  One day, every tear will be wiped off of our faces  and there will be no more sickness, death, sadness or mourning.  (Rev. 21:4 ESV)

This world.....beautiful and ugly.  This world....uncertain with a certain future. This world brings me joy because I am not “of this world” but just journeying through.

Yes, I have joy and I thank God, for giving me “the peace which passes all understanding.” (Phil. 4:7 ESV). Trust Him with your life and your circumstances.  You can.  He is faithful and just to do everything and all for His Glory.

Covid19 Thoughts Continued

I think it’s 2 weeks now that we’ve been in lockdown 😳 or isoloation or whatever the heck you want to call it.  At first I couldn’t even believe this Covid-19 was really happening and our world literally was shutting down.  Now, 2 weeks later, I believe it but there are still days I can’t wrap my head around it all.  Today, being one of those days.

I find myself often looking up to the Heavens and asking God questions.  Questions like.....”Would you please give us ears to hear and eyes to see what it is you want us to “get” from this?”  I also find myself saying often, “Lord what are you saying to us?”

I have no doubt the Lord is speaking....not even a little doubt!   Why do I know this?  Because I know that the Lord is among us.  I know that He is control of the entire universe and nothing....no nothing...happens that He is not aware of.  God allows what God allows for HIS purposes and His plan.  And, as a child of God, I know ...yes I know...that His plan is always good.

You may be thinking, ‘how in the word could any of this be good?’  The only way ANY of this could be good is if it is drawing us closer to God.  Because as I have learned and continue to learn in my 60 years of life is that God is the only One who can satisfy our hurting souls....the only One who can satisfy our hurting world.

I, like the rest of you, don’t understand any of this.  Only God knows why.  As I sit here this morning, my heart is at peace because I know God holds me AND you all in the palms of His Hand.  I know He is calling us all to come to Him because He loves us.

Reflecting on these words from Zephaniah 3:17 this morning bring me peace and hope.  I pray, as I type, that they also bring you the same.

“The Lord your God is in your midst; A Mighty One who will save;  He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.”

Covid19 Thoughts

Tonight, as I sit here alone, I can’t help but reflect on all that is going on.  What IS going on?  Covid-19, I know.  But, what IS going on?  It’s almost unfathomable.  I mean an entire country.....world.....shut down.   Sometimes I literally just stop and have to think to myself, is this for real?

I can’t  help but ask myself what lesson we are to be learning in all this.  This can’t be all for nothing, right?

Lately, my heart keeps going back to these words...”trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”   I do trust Him but that is not to say I am not confused and wonder what is going on.

I am learning so much through this time.  I’m learning simple is best.  I’m learning I don’t need much.  I’m learning that wasting money on things that aren’t necessary is so easy.  I’m learning that loving your family and treating one another with love is important because tomorrow is never promised.  I’m learning busy, busy, busy robs us of what is most important.  I’m learning that what IS Most Important, - our Heavenly Father -  is truly all we need.  If He isn’t our “enough” than we will lack peace and joy and true happiness.

That’s what I’ve learned and I am thankful.

God is good and can be trusted.  Why?  Because He is faithful.

Good night all.  Sleep in peace and trust that your Heavenly Father loves you more than you could ever imagine.

BUT GOD

 Every year since 2005 I think I have posted about June, of 2005...the year my life changed FOREVER. However, often times the post is seen more as a “sympathy” post instead of how I mean for the post to be seen. Hence, the reason why I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this year.

This morning I was thinking about it and thought, yes, I will post it. The reason my life changed in 2005 is really not important. What is important is focusing on God’s truth and promises.

Fourteen years ago....my life changed forever. It was an extremely hard time in my life. Emotionally I had a very hard time grappling with it. I was depressed, anxious and afraid. Very afraid. BUT GOD! 

For those who know me, know that my faith in God and love for His Word are who I am...who HE CREATED me to be, however, what you may not know is how my happiness and joy in the here and now was my focus. Not just my happiness but those in my life. I made it my goal and when life wasn’t what I thought it should be my world was rocked. I felt sad and that it was my fault because I am “not good” at living this life God has called me to live. So my everyday I focused on being everything to everybody. BUT GOD!

Then God ROCKED MY WORLD. He allowed a tragedy (as I saw it) to TOUCH ME. Why God? You know I love you? I don’t want this..I want good and happy! BUT GOD!

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:11. “All the ways ordained for me were written in His book before one came to be.” Ps. 139:16. “For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purposes.” Romans 8:28.  Oh yes......my God took a tragedy and turned it into MY BLESSING. Why?  I am so underserving.  It wasn’t because of ME at all. NOT AT ALL. It’s because He loves me enough to use me to share His LOVE which brings GLORY TO HIM. I’ve learned this journey is just that....a JOURNEY which is leading us HOME...to our ETERNAL HOME to live with our SAVIOR FOREVER. It’s not about us or our happiness at all. It’s not about me being anything but a child of God. To live in His love and to please only One....my God. It’s only about the happiness we have in Jesus. To live in light of Eternity. To rejoice regardless of where God has us because His ways are always good. Ohhhh, they surely may not seem good...and from an earthly perspective surely are not...BUT GOD! He can and does use ALL for our good. To bring us where we need to be....AT THE FEET OF JESUS.  

If my life could do just one thing...to point others to Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior....that would be more than enough. If my heart and life could impress upon just one person the JOY in following hard after Jesus, I would be so very happy. The journey SURELY isn't always filled with JOY, however, your heart will have more joy than you ever could have imagined because when we are ABIDING in Him we can only be filled with love and joy.  I pray that all who read this blog post would immerse yourselves in His Word ~ the Bible. It is God speaking to us.  It is TRUTH.  It brings peace and comfort. It is filled up with God's MANY, MANY PROMISES to His children and those PROMISES are TRUTHS.  It is in those truths we find our JOY AND PEACE.

Thank You Jesus for 2005. Thank You for loving ME and walking with me every step of the way on my journey that YOU have walked BEFORE ME.  When all seemed hopeless and scary....YOU God took what appeared awful and turned it into a redemptive story.  

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY.

The Journey~The Lessons~The Blessings. ❤️❤️

Today's blog is special to me.  It is an annual one for me that reminds me of the journey I am on.  The lessons I have learned and the very many blessings that are mine.

Thirteen years ago I heard the words, “you have cancer.”  Not exactly the words I ever wanted to hear and when I first heard them I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  The thoughts running through my mind at that time were ~ ‘I’m only 45 years old, there is no way’ ~ ‘I’m healthy’ ~ ‘There is nothing wrong with me’ ~ ‘I’ve prayed and prayed that cancer would never touch me, so, why Lord.’   So many things rattled through my brain and I was in shock.  Fear immediately crept in and lived with me for many years.  I came to realize that I had no control and I never did.  WHAT?  🙄 I realized that bad things can happen to me (even if I said they couldn’t) and there wasn’t a darn thing I could do about it.  Talk about fearful.  For this type A personality, it was VERY FEARFUL.   So what did I do? Well, the only thing a type A personality would do...I read everything I could about my type of cancer so I could control my situation.  Makes sense, right? WRONG!

God surely had some work to do in me and I wanted Him to do it ~ PRONTO!!  I didn’t want to be fearful.  I didn’t want to feel the need to control my situation but truly, I knew no other way.  The saying goes, “let go and let God!”  OK, that sounds good, doesn’t it, but how in the world do you do that.

I spent many hours on my knees in prayer.  Lord, please help me!  Lord, please give me peace.  Lord, make me well.  Lord, help me to TRUST YOU.  And there it was, TRUST!  I always believed in God.  I always prayed to God.  I always loved God but did I TRUST God.  Well, I did trust Him but that was when things went the way I thought they should go.  Did I trust Him when I couldn’t control my situation?  I’d love to say I did, but sadly, I did not.  Who of us wouldn’t say that trusting God is easy when life is good?  When we are in a tough situation and have no clue where the journey will take us, well, trusting is just hard.  We want some guarantee that it will all turn out well.  We want to know that things will turn out the way we want them too.  Don’t we?

Even before my cancer journey began, I always desired peace ~ that real “be still” kind of peace!  The kind of peace the Bible speaks about.   The kind of peace I knew my Heavenly Father wanted me to have but how in the world do I go about attaining that peace?   Notice my wording in that last sentence? I said, “how in the world do I go about  attaining that peace?”  Again, it was all about ME taking charge.  Me doing something.  Me being the one that had to DO.  Oh how I prayed and prayed and prayed.  Lord, give me peace.  Please Lord, give me peace!  I remember that it was a deep, deep desire in me for many years before my cancer journey began.  I asked God for it multiple times a day.  I wasn't happy but didn't know why I wasn't.  But, God knew.

Slowly, the Lord started working in me.  He led me to His Word for strength.  He led me to 2 particular devotion books that helped me.  Ever so slowly God was filling me with what I needed. I was certainly in a "valley low" but God was working in me in that valley and slowly bringing me out.   On February 10, 2008 I wrote this on the bottom page of one of my daily reads............................

“Control - Oh Lord you know me. Control is my middle name.  As far as my health and my fears I try to DO whatever I can to live free of trouble.  Help me Lord to let You be the God of my life.  I can fight and resist all I want but you are in control of this body and life.  Help me to let go.”   My heart was really hurting.  Fear was still within me and peace was far off.   I continued praying, reading my Bible and devouring anything Godly.  I would walk a lot and pray and sing praises (and cry) as I continued to put one foot in front of the other. Then one day I was reading a book called, “Grace Through The Tough Times” by Mary J. Nelson and read this...................................................

“I thought I knew Him before.  I went to church on Sunday and, unless there was a crisis, I kept Him conveniently tucked away in the spiritual compartment of my life until the next Sunday.  I thought I understood everything He had to show me. All through those years I thought I was a Christian and I never knew Him at all. One day I landed in the fiery furnace, He tenderly reached out His hand through the flames and gave me two choices:  I could face my uncertain future on my own or I could trust Him.”

There’s the word again...TRUST.   God was showing me that the peace I longed for wouldn’t come until I trusted Him as the God of my life.  As I would read my Bible verses were really speaking to my heart....this one in particular hit me like a ton of bricks and I focus on it often to this day.  It says - “all the days ordained for you were written in His book before one came to be.”  Psalm 139:16.  I read it again and it slowly started sinking in.  All the days I will live God knows about.  He knows what today will hold and tomorrow and the next day.  He knows and He’s in control.  I was His before I was even born.  Jeremiah 1:5 told me this, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”  Then there was this from Proverbs 20:24 ~ “How can we understand the road we travel? It is the Lord who directs our steps.”   Newsflash:  The Lord directs my steps.  Not Mary Jo.

More and more each day God’s peace has become mine.  Yes, I still worry at times and yes, I still want to control (at times) but nothing like I use too.  When I find myself back in that way of thinking and doing,  I will speak these verses and many others to myself.  I remind myself that this journey is directed by God and that it is all for HIS GLORY.  Throughout the journey we will encounter many trials but God is with us and has much to teach us.  The lessons He teaches are the best.  The journey and the lessons produce many, many blessings.  From a worldly perspective we generally view blessings as something material....more money, a new car, a skinny body etc.  But those are not the best blessings. The best blessings are spiritual blessings ~ peace, contentment, trust, being drawn closer to our Lord and being able to peacefully live in the knowledge that God is in control of this life and all we do is for His Glory.

God is faithful and when pain and trials come into our life,  He is with us. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. Romans 8:28 tells us this..."for we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose."

I am thankful for my journey and for all the Lord has taught me in the valley low.  He has raised me up and has blessed me with peace, contentment, happiness and a true joy deep in my spirit.  I belong to Him.  He loves me and Heaven is my Home.  To God be all the glory forever and ever.  Amen

Do I?

Do I trust God?  Do I?  Or, do I just say I do?  Is it something my brain and heart just say because that is what I should say, or do I trust Him?  When I read His Word do I believe it is Truth or do I just say that it is?

Yes, I do trust God and yes, I really do believe His Word is truth, however, as I say those words, do I live that way?  Do I walk through the day with a heart that is peaceful because I truly do believe I am here for His purposes?

The journey can be so confusing and I tend to focus on me and my happiness instead of God and His purpose.  God makes it pretty clear to me on His purpose for me...for us.  He says this.... “and this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.” 1 John 3:28.”  And again, Jesus said this...... …Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28: 18-20

Yes, I trust and yes, I believe His Word is truth and as the father of the sick child proclaimed in Matthew 9:24 - “yes I believe; help my unbelief.”

Those Days

When you feel alone ~ you enjoy the quiet moment and yet, you feel alone.  When you know God is your guide and yet you wonder if you are really following.  When you feel as if you don’t matter, yet others count on you.  When it seems like everyone is living love with family and yet you feel alone. When you feel you’ve made so many mistakes and being lonely is the result.  And yet..love is here.  God is here and He is mine.  Even amidst my mistakes, my Savior forgives me and is leading me Home.  I am following and when I fail Him, He lovingly and gently leads me along.  He brought me here to love and encourage others in Jesus’ love and when I need it I have God’s Word.  When others don’t have time to give, I rest in knowing my ulitmate comfort can only come from God.  The fear of rejection is real and reaching out only to be ignored or said no to is hard on my heart.  It makes me feel as if something is wrong with me.  So then, it’s easier to just be alone where I’m safe and let love come to me when they want.  My heart is always open to those I love but I’m not sure I give what they want.  Am I selfish?  I hope not.  Do I make known that I love them beyond words?  I hope so.  Would I love to hear I am loved?  I would.

I hang onto my God who loves me best.  I pray that He would make me a person that brings love and looks for nothing in return.  I pray that I would not think about me but instead think about all those times I have rejected others and said no to them.  Although my intent could never be to hurt them, I’m sure that’s what I do when I think of myself first and others second.

Loneliness is real and it plagues us all.  In life I’ve learned that love and kindness is something each of us desire.  I’ve learned that wanting it is a deep need for us all, but reaching out to love and be kind is something so much different.  It’s easier to be the victim instead of being the one to reach out.  It’s funny really, but it’s when we reach out and think more of others than self that those lonely feelings
go away.

So Lord, teach me on those days to reach out and love.  Lord, teach me on those days to remember feelings are only feelings.  Feelings aren’t usually truth but are just what happens on those days.

“Friends”

“Friends!”  The ones who ask the tough questions.  Those who help to keep us accountable by asking sincere and heartfelt questions...like....”how are you...REALLY...how are you?  Or, “why are you doing what you are doing?”  And, “are you rooted in God’s Word, everyday? And this, “is your journey grounded in Love?  Are you grounded in Love that is about serving because of the Love God has given to you or is about serving for worldly accolades?”  Is your worship about “attendance” - the check off the list weekly “chore?”  OUCH.  The tough questions.  The ones that help us to grow in the best ways.  

My “friends” - family and friend/friends are the glue that holds me together.  They are those God has blessed me with to keep me keepin’ on while walking this journey.  

This first Sunday in Advent.  The coming of our Savior...Jesus!  The One who is coming again to take His children Home.  O come, O Come Emmanuel.  

Thank you Heavenly Father and thank you,  “friends” for helping me “stay the course” as it were.  You make the journey good and help me to prepare my heart, daily, for our Emmanuel’s return.

God knew what we needed on this journey.  So, so thankful.

“Iron sharpens iron as one person sharpens another!”  Proverbs 27:17

My Heart Is Overwhelmed

My heart is overwhelmed by God’s greatness.  It is overwhelmed by His Sovereignty and love.  I cannot fathom this kind of love; a love that is unconditional; a love that calls us to trust in His Sovereignty and plan for us.  Oh, Lord, I do trust You and my heart longs to know You more and more.

As I walk this earth...I like to call it a journey...I am pointed more and more often to all God offers us.  It isn’t the stuff of the world.  It actually has nothing to do with us at all.  Our God is calling us to fellowship with Himself.  He wants our hearts - not just a piece of it but ALL of it.  He wants our trust - not only when we think it might all work out, but He wants us to trust Him completely.  He wants us to want Him above all else - not only after we receive the worldly things we think define us - but He wants us to know that only He defines us - all the worldly “stuff” only makes the fellowship with Him more difficult.

As God continues to pull me closer to Him, I am in awe of His power and love.  The faith that grows in our hearts is His gift to us.  It’s in that place that God truly reaches down and teaches us what is most important.  There is only one important thing....LOVE.

Love is hard!  Taking God’s love is easy....right?  I mean think of how others treat us...think of all we’ve done for others, right?  (Insert sarcasm)!!  NO, love is hard because we think of ourselves first.  Love is hard because we want life to be easy and we let our selfishness rule our hearts.  Sadly, I know this is true for me.  Often, (more often than not), I want more and more of God on my terms.  I don’t want to love someone who is hard to love.  I’d rather justify why I’m better than that person so my feelings are justified.  I want to grow closer to God by serving others in His Name, but once again, I will pick and choose who I will love.  Oh Lord, forgive my stubborn and arrogant heart.


As I read God’s Word to me, He is teaching me that when I grasp onto His gift of love ...a love that He freely gives to me - that is when I can “see!”  He gives me insight, through His Word, that real peace is given when I stop looking at me, and love from a heart that is overwhelmed by His love for me.  His love is so great and His care for us is so incredible that it truly is difficult to contain.  Wanting to share His love with all who will listen is what makes a heart at peace.  Jesus came for all. Jesus loves all.  Jesus died for all.  Not just those I think deserve that love.  Do I deserve that kind of love?  Do any of us?

When I think of His great love, my heart turns to Jesus on the cross.  Think of how He suffered.  God’s Word tells us in Luke 23 and John 19 that Jesus was beaten beyond recognition, they hurled insults at Him; He wore a crown of thorns rammed into His head and all this was done to this “Man” who did nothing wrong.  The part that really gets me everytime is right before Jesus dies on the cross He says, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing. (Luke 23:24).  That statement
TRULY overwhelms my heart.  How could a love like that be possible?  When I stop and really think on this type of love for me and for you, it overwhelms my heart BEYOND anything I could ever explain. It puts my life and this journey He has me on in perspective.  He simply asks me to love others.  He doesn’t say love those who deserve it.  He doesn’t say love those you choose to love but to love others the way I have been loved.  On my own this is absolutely not possible. Sadly, I will admit,  I don’t like lots of people.  But with God and His power and strength, He gives me the “want to!”  He gives me a heart that wants to treat others the way I want to be treated.  He helps me see beyond my “self” and my selfish ambitions and helps me grasp how “high and wide” His love is.  Even grasping a hold of the little bit my mind can comprehend, it goes beyond any sort of love I could give.  Only God can change a heart.

As my heart grows more and more overwhelmed by God each and every day, it literally overflows
with thanks.  As my eyes grow dimmer and dimmer to the “stuff” of this world and He opens them to
the true beauty of the “stuff” He wants me to see, I can only offer up my thanks.  I long to love as my Savior loves.  Freely!  Lord, help me to take the love in my heart for you, and freely give that love to all..in the Name of Jesus.  Amen

Happily Ever After

I hate the word, "expectations", because more often than not, what I expect and what happens are two totally different things.  It must be that "warm and fuzzy" part of me that lives down deep.  The, "life should be perfect" part.  You know...the part we all long for?

It has taken me many years to get rid of that kind of thinking but I think I am there.  Not perfectly, but for the most part.  It was a hard process to get through.  I mean, what person doesn't want the perfect friendships, the perfect marriage, the perfect family, the perfect church, the perfect neighborhood.  Ohhhhhhhh,  the list could go on and on.

I've learned that expectations only bring heart ache.  Expectations are trusting in what I want instead of what is. Expectations are trusting in others being perfect when I am not.  Expectations put pressure and stress on others when each of us are simply human....humans that are muddling through life together.  Each of us wanting the "perfect" but none of us finding it.  For that matter, living this way puts us under great stress as we seek to "make things happen" when ultimately we have no control over anyone or most situations. Expectations that I have are saying that I am in control and I am not.

I remember the younger, more immature me.  Oh, I desired the perfect everything.  I mean, after all, doesn't the perfect "everything" mean you've achieved success?  Doesn't it mean, you've done it all right?  Doesn't it mean others will look to you and say, "wow, she did it ALL right?"  Oh my!  What was I thinking?  I mean, really, does human perfection even exist?  Is life perfect, EVER?  Do our perfect expectations ever come true?  Does a happily ever after really exist?  The answer to all of my questions is a big fat NO.......EXCEPT for my question, "Does a happily ever after really exist?"  I've learned that YES,  happily ever after does exist.  However, on this side of Heaven, it is something we can only long for BUT we can KNOW that it is true.  You see, God's Grace leads us along our imperfect lives everyday.  He knows what our hearts long for.  He knows we desire love and good things everyday, but sadly, our earthly human lives will always have expectations that are never met.  Why? Because we are always dealing with imperfect people and I would be the leader of the pact.  How can I expect such perfection, when I am such an imperfect person?   Looking to what can fill ME and make Me happy instead of living a servants life and my goal being to think NOT of myself but serving others in love?  How can I expect to be treated in perfect ways when I myself do not treat others with that same kind of perfection?

We don't have to live our lives here disappointed when our expectations are not met.  Yes, there are things in life that make us really sad and we wish for them to be different but, again, we are not in charge.  I've learned that when I leave my expectations in the Hands of the One who holds my life in His Hands, I can trust that He has it all under control. You know, to be perfectly honest, sometimes I  expect God to do things my way, because I'm pretty sure I know best, and He disappoints me too.  BUT GOD in His infinite mercy and love truly does know best and although seeing that from my imperfect perspective and VERY imperfect expectations doesn't make sense, I know that He does.  You see, He tells me in His Word this "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts."  Isaiah 55: 8-9.  I know God does not lie so I can stop living with my perfect expectations and trust in the One who knows best.

While I muddle through this journey I may have many days I feel unloved, or that my situation is horrible and nothing like I imagined or expected it to be but God is always with me and He loves me perfectly.  This is not an unrealistic expectation but a truth.  Jesus says to me and to you, "I am with you always until the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)  I've learned that life is life and it's best to take it as it comes.  When it seems overwhelmingly AWFUL, we can still rest in the One who has it ALL under His control.  You see, our happily ever after is coming.  The best is yet to come.  The glimpses of "perfection" we see here are a tiny, tiny blob of what's to come.  My perfect expectation of what's to come has been secured when Jesus died on the cross for you and me.  He has covered the very sinful Mary Jo with His blood.  I am forgiven and loved.  Not by anything I have done but only by Jesus, our Savior of the world.

I've learned to not expect things to be a certain way...well, I've MOSTLY learned that.  I've learned to take life as it comes and when my heart is sad and disappointed I simply (well, not so simply) trust in the One who knows my heart and loves me completely.   You see, that is an expectation I can count on.  He has taught me to be happy simply because.  Not because of anything I've done or might do...not because of anything anyone else has done for me (although that is so special) but simply because the One who is holding my "Happily Ever After" is trustworthy and true.

For now, I will continue to muddle through and live this life with all my imperfect expectations because I know those things my heart longs for MOST are waiting for me in Heaven.  "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying in pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  Revelation 21:4

I Finally Found Where I Belong

Fifty seven years and counting!  The journey has taken me to places I could never have imagined. The journey has brought so much blessing to my life but it has also brought sadness. It's so easy to accept that which the Lord gives - that which WE perceive as good but "bad" comes and we question and wonder why.  In Job 1:21 we read, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."  Wow!  Really Lord...."blessed be Your Name," in hardship? "Blessed be Your Name,"  in sickness?

Twelve years ago my life changed.  It changed in ways I could never have imagined.  When a doctor phones you and says, "I'm sorry.....you have cancer," you definitely don't say...."Blessed be the Name of the Lord.  When your boss tells you, "you're position has been eliminated," or "you're fired," I'm pretty confident that person doesn't say, "blessed be the Name of the Lord."  Those situation s are bad situations, right?  Or, are they?

God has blessed my life in beautiful ways.  Most people reading these words would think I mean that God has given me a perfect, happy and wonderful life.  He has....yes, but not in the perfect, happy and wonderful way you may be thinking.  Growing up with step parents was hard.  Moving around from school to school was hard.  Getting married young was hard.  However, through all that, I always knew there was a God.  Not only did I know it, I believed it.  For some reason He was always close to me....close to my heart and mind.  He was always drawing me to Himself.  Always.

As a young wife and mom I remember the struggle well.  I remember trying to give my family that perfect family.  I remember vowing that my children would always feel loved.  I remember vowing I would bring my children up to know Jesus and His beautiful love.  Easy, right??  Ummmmm.......not so much!  I mean, I set about doing it...you know.....that PERFECT thing.....let's just say, the harder I tried the more I failed.  There was the me wanting to "be" like those "perfect" people.  You know
them, right?  The ones that go to church and sit in the pew with their perfect families.  The ones with the perfect kids.  Ya, those people....I thought I needed to be like THOSE people, because after all, I loved Jesus and He loved me so if I tried to do all the RIGHT things, well then of course, Jesus would make me and my life like all those other peoples....perfect......RIGHT?  No arguing or fighting.  Kids that only loved Jesus and didn't do those things that wouldn't be pleasing to the parents or to Jesus. Right?  Those same people that were looking at me and others and saying, "I want to be perfect like them."

Oh my.......how naive.  How blind!  Fifty seven years later here I sit.  I look back over ALL these many years and say, THANK YOU, JESUS that I finally found where I belong.  Oh our loving Father!  Yes, "blessed be the Name of the Lord!"  You see, through it all His Hand was always there.  Yes, bad things still happened (and still do) and failures as a wife, mom and friend still happen (daily) BUT GOD.......He takes all the past, present and our future and works in it all to teach us.....to draw us closer to Him because He wants ALL of us.  He doesn't want to be our "leftover."  He doesn't want to be the One we turn to ONLY when the going gets tough.  He wants us ALL the time.

Twelve years ago God taught me that it is ok to be me.  He taught me that He truly does forgive.  He taught me that not only does He forgive but He takes those "bad" times in our lives and works them all together for good ....and those are not my words my friends, but God's.  It says in Romans 8:28 ... "for we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose."  Through sickness he taught me that we have no control. None!  God is sovereign and "all the days for us were written in His book before One came to be."  (Psalm 139:16). He taught me that He not only is enough but He has to be enough because at any given time our health, wealth, friendships etc. can be taken from us and that these lives He has given to us, need to be lived for Him and His glory because that is the only thing that will last.  He has taught me that I can "be still" because He is my God (Psalm 46:10).   He has taught me that worrying about what others think is not a worry I need to ever have because we are all in the same boat.  I have learned we truly are all the same in our desire to be loved and also in our lives being full of hardships.

As I found where I belong, I can now see that it takes all of it to bring us each day where we were meant to be.  Yes, God is good even when things don't look it.  We can't see the whole picture, but God can.  I have learned that trusting God to work all for His good does NOT mean all things turn out the way we expect or want.  Often the opposite is true.  But the main thing He taught me through it all is this.....There is only One who matters...truly matters...Jesus.  He loves me.  He loves you.  He has taught me that, THAT, is really all I need.  As I found where I belong, He has taught me that this life really isn't about me at all.  (really, it isn't - haha) but about serving in the Name of Jesus....proclaiming His salvation ... that all who believe in Him and His saving death on the cross will live with Him forever. (John 3:16)

I am so thankful for all God has taught me and that He has lovingly covered my sins and has taken such good care of my family and me.  I am so thankful for cancer and the many blessings I received because of it. You  may be thinking, well, that's easy for you to say because Yes, I lived (for now) but I know that when the Lord is finished with me, He will be calling me Home and that is where I belong.

The Journey

On this rainy, Tuesday morning, I find myself in a contemplative state of mind!  I feel so blessed to have this time to simply sit.  Or better stated, to "be still" in the presence of God.  This is where I find my peace and contentment.  His Word touches me in a way nothing else does.  His Word brings a balm of sorts   ~  a healing  ~  a joy....but mostly, it brings me reminders of where my real joy comes from.

Life brings so many things to us!  We wander and often times are confused and at a loss as to what this journey is about and where it is leading.  Yes, there is love and happiness here but there is definitely other emotions that riddle our journey ~ sadness, loneliness, fear, and uncertainty.  These aren't just emotions we feel, but these are things we live with while walking this journey. .....  Not to mention, all the evil that surrounds us.  This journey is not for naught.   It truly is a journey where we are being led and it has a definite purpose.  When the purpose has been fulfilled, the journey will end and we will cease to exist here on earth.  We can't understand not existing because this is all we know.   The evil around us is absolutely prevalent and hearing of it day after day (some days hour and after hour) truly reminds my heart of how I long for THAT DAY when sadness, loneliness, fear, uncertainty and evil will no longer exist.

It's so easy to latch on to whatever brings us happiness or love, comfort or a momentary peace, but those things will always disappoint us and leave us empty.  Always.  My mind thinks of food and how we often turn to it for our "happy" or our "comfort!"  Then there are the "things" we think bring us happiness.  They do, for a bit, but they too lose their lustre as it were.  I think of how social media is running rampant. Social Media is a huge part of our lives.  It can be good, yes, but it can also lead us down a road of comparison, jealousy, envy and tons of other emotions...none of which are good!  I think that is becoming the place of acceptance and/or acknowledgement for many of us.  I don't think we were meant to "live" in a place where everyone knows everyone's business.  I think taking care of our own "business" is tiring enough, much less concerning ourselves with everyone else's.  God wants for Him to be my "first love."  He wants me to go to Him for my acknowledgement and acceptance because He knows that it is only in Him that I can be truly satisfied.  He wants me to spend my time loving others and thinking less of me because He knows when I take my eyes off of me and love others that is when I will be truly happy.

Ahhhh, my contemplative state!  My heart is full of so many things.  My heart...always searching and
 seeking.  God is teaching me that "seeking Him first" is the best place to go.  Him first.  He is teaching me that living in peace and quietness is where my heart finds rest and a Spirit of contentment. He is teaching me that "the joy of the Lord is my strength."  He is teaching me that we are on this journey to serve and love.  After all, it is all about Him and not about us at all!

This life ~ our life ~ will cease to exist here.  And this journey we are on is so very short.  The Bible
instructs us to learn to "number our days" and that our "lives are simply a vapor."  My heart longs for that "Day" when my life will forever exist in Heaven because then, and only then, will all those longing I have in my heart be fulfilled.

As I sit this morning, and am still ~ I can't help but be so thankful that God's gift of Eternal life is just that....a GIFT.  Bought and paid for by our Savior Jesus.  My sins of yesterday, today and the ones I have yet to do, FORGIVEN.   Jesus suffered and died for me and for you.   There is nothing we can do to earn our way into Heaven....and thank God for that because what could I ever do that would be good enough?   He only asks one thing of us....that we "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and we will be saved."  (John 3:16). So simple...so easy.....it almost sounds unbelievable.  But, oh my friends, it is true.

Oh, the joys that fill my heart and mind as God reminds me of "Who" it is I live for and why.  We live to serve others and share the Gospel message.  That message that brings peace and hope to us.  As I find my joy in Him, He blesses me with His peace.  All that riddles my journey ~ our journey ~ are temporary.  The sadness and strife will end, and the joys we experience here are only a foretaste of what it will be like in Heaven.

Cyber Space Can't Touch

Sitting here this morning, many things are occupying my heart and mind.  So many hearts that are hurting and just wanting to be loved.  So many suffering depression and anxiety.  It seems to be getting worse as time goes on.  My prayer journal is full of prayers for those who suffer from this.  Today, while adding another request, my heart and mind started thinking.  

We live in a world where social media, emails and texts are the "norm!"  We need each other.  We need to love one another.  We need to hug one another.  We need to talk, face to face.  Cyber space isn't "real."  Cyber space is easy.  Cyber space is thinking about us and not others.  Cyber space doesn't have a face, a touch, tears or a smile.  Cyber space is often a "cop out!"

Social Media, emails and texting are convenient and can be very nice.  Reconnecting with others via social media is awesome.  Sending an email to just say "hi" or share some information is nice and fast.  Texting, too.....an awesome way to communicate.  However, we can't let technology replace REAL.  Real, heartfelt, face to face, "I care" kind of love.  Talking with one another and sharing what's REAL.  Being able to sit and listen with REAL eyes focused on a real person.  That's real!

Technology has made the world a very small place.  I love that. I love connecting with others, who share the same "love" as I do.  If I'm going to waste my time on Social Media, I like to "waste" it with others who share in the same things I love.  I love participating in online Bible study because when I am home, away from others, it's how I like to spend my time.  I also like sharing that which I love the most with others on Social Media because that's where everyone seems to be these days.   But by no means does that replace people time.  

It's safe, isn't it?  Hiding away in our little worlds and ignoring the world.  It's easy to "shoot" off a text or an e-mail and say "love you" or "I care."  Right?  Don't we all do it?  We feel better...at least we did something.  I know that's how I feel often times.  But then I hear of another suffering from "aloneness."  It's so sad!

I suppose as time progresses, things will continue on this path of disconnecting with "real" but my heart knows it is the wrong path.  God intends for us to come together....to share and love and grow as sisters and brothers in Christ.  In the end, it is all that matters.  I pray that I can disconnect more and reach out with real arms to a hurting world.

Future Plans?? Sort Of!!

Sitting here tonight reading "survivor" stories touches my heart on many levels.  Knowing so many who have fought so hard and died, makes me sad.  Knowing some who don't appreciate their life, makes me angry.

Reading one woman's story really touched me.  She talks about the fear and anxiety that go along with any illness.  The fear of not knowing what tomorrow holds.  The fear and anxiety in having all the tests and then the fear and anxiety that is associated with the waiting for results.  All legit and all understandable.  She went on to say that one day the light bulb went on and she realized how she was wasting her days worrying.  I remember that same light bulb going on.  I remember realizing that I was wasting the days I was being given by worrying about what tomorrow held, and that, illness or not, none of us know when our time here on earth will be done.

God has taught me many things since my own breast cancer diagnosis.  Many of the days were so very hard.   Having no one to talk with about it, who understood my fear and sadness, made the days so lonely.  Of course my husband, family and friends were always there, but that isn't the same as relating to someone else who was in the same shoes as you. However, looking back on those lonely days, I can now see how God used those days to draw me closer to Him. 

Reflecting on all of this reminds me of what is truly important.  My family, my friends and living life to the fullest.  Living my life with goals, but not your typical goals.  Goals like seeing the sunrise, hugging my grandkids as many times as I am able, saying "I love you" often, walking in the sunshine, sitting quietly appreciating what God has done for me, praying, singing to my hearts content and encouraging others in love.

God allows us here for a short time to love.  The days truly do fly and one day He will call me Home.  Nothing will I take with me.  Just a soul that God loves.

Future plans??  Sort of.  But my plans are simple.  As I enjoy those simple goals I have listed,  I do pray that God would continue to teach me to appreciate this life He has given to me and that He would bless me with a heart of wisdom for what really  matters.