“Friends”

“Friends!”  The ones who ask the tough questions.  Those who help to keep us accountable by asking sincere and heartfelt questions...like....”how are you...REALLY...how are you?  Or, “why are you doing what you are doing?”  And, “are you rooted in God’s Word, everyday? And this, “is your journey grounded in Love?  Are you grounded in Love that is about serving because of the Love God has given to you or is about serving for worldly accolades?”  Is your worship about “attendance” - the check off the list weekly “chore?”  OUCH.  The tough questions.  The ones that help us to grow in the best ways.  

My “friends” - family and friend/friends are the glue that holds me together.  They are those God has blessed me with to keep me keepin’ on while walking this journey.  

This first Sunday in Advent.  The coming of our Savior...Jesus!  The One who is coming again to take His children Home.  O come, O Come Emmanuel.  

Thank you Heavenly Father and thank you,  “friends” for helping me “stay the course” as it were.  You make the journey good and help me to prepare my heart, daily, for our Emmanuel’s return.

God knew what we needed on this journey.  So, so thankful.

“Iron sharpens iron as one person sharpens another!”  Proverbs 27:17

My Heart Is Overwhelmed

My heart is overwhelmed by God’s greatness.  It is overwhelmed by His Sovereignty and love.  I cannot fathom this kind of love; a love that is unconditional; a love that calls us to trust in His Sovereignty and plan for us.  Oh, Lord, I do trust You and my heart longs to know You more and more.

As I walk this earth...I like to call it a journey...I am pointed more and more often to all God offers us.  It isn’t the stuff of the world.  It actually has nothing to do with us at all.  Our God is calling us to fellowship with Himself.  He wants our hearts - not just a piece of it but ALL of it.  He wants our trust - not only when we think it might all work out, but He wants us to trust Him completely.  He wants us to want Him above all else - not only after we receive the worldly things we think define us - but He wants us to know that only He defines us - all the worldly “stuff” only makes the fellowship with Him more difficult.

As God continues to pull me closer to Him, I am in awe of His power and love.  The faith that grows in our hearts is His gift to us.  It’s in that place that God truly reaches down and teaches us what is most important.  There is only one important thing....LOVE.

Love is hard!  Taking God’s love is easy....right?  I mean think of how others treat us...think of all we’ve done for others, right?  (Insert sarcasm)!!  NO, love is hard because we think of ourselves first.  Love is hard because we want life to be easy and we let our selfishness rule our hearts.  Sadly, I know this is true for me.  Often, (more often than not), I want more and more of God on my terms.  I don’t want to love someone who is hard to love.  I’d rather justify why I’m better than that person so my feelings are justified.  I want to grow closer to God by serving others in His Name, but once again, I will pick and choose who I will love.  Oh Lord, forgive my stubborn and arrogant heart.


As I read God’s Word to me, He is teaching me that when I grasp onto His gift of love ...a love that He freely gives to me - that is when I can “see!”  He gives me insight, through His Word, that real peace is given when I stop looking at me, and love from a heart that is overwhelmed by His love for me.  His love is so great and His care for us is so incredible that it truly is difficult to contain.  Wanting to share His love with all who will listen is what makes a heart at peace.  Jesus came for all. Jesus loves all.  Jesus died for all.  Not just those I think deserve that love.  Do I deserve that kind of love?  Do any of us?

When I think of His great love, my heart turns to Jesus on the cross.  Think of how He suffered.  God’s Word tells us in Luke 23 and John 19 that Jesus was beaten beyond recognition, they hurled insults at Him; He wore a crown of thorns rammed into His head and all this was done to this “Man” who did nothing wrong.  The part that really gets me everytime is right before Jesus dies on the cross He says, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing. (Luke 23:24).  That statement
TRULY overwhelms my heart.  How could a love like that be possible?  When I stop and really think on this type of love for me and for you, it overwhelms my heart BEYOND anything I could ever explain. It puts my life and this journey He has me on in perspective.  He simply asks me to love others.  He doesn’t say love those who deserve it.  He doesn’t say love those you choose to love but to love others the way I have been loved.  On my own this is absolutely not possible. Sadly, I will admit,  I don’t like lots of people.  But with God and His power and strength, He gives me the “want to!”  He gives me a heart that wants to treat others the way I want to be treated.  He helps me see beyond my “self” and my selfish ambitions and helps me grasp how “high and wide” His love is.  Even grasping a hold of the little bit my mind can comprehend, it goes beyond any sort of love I could give.  Only God can change a heart.

As my heart grows more and more overwhelmed by God each and every day, it literally overflows
with thanks.  As my eyes grow dimmer and dimmer to the “stuff” of this world and He opens them to
the true beauty of the “stuff” He wants me to see, I can only offer up my thanks.  I long to love as my Savior loves.  Freely!  Lord, help me to take the love in my heart for you, and freely give that love to all..in the Name of Jesus.  Amen

Happily Ever After

I hate the word, "expectations", because more often than not, what I expect and what happens are two totally different things.  It must be that "warm and fuzzy" part of me that lives down deep.  The, "life should be perfect" part.  You know...the part we all long for?

It has taken me many years to get rid of that kind of thinking but I think I am there.  Not perfectly, but for the most part.  It was a hard process to get through.  I mean, what person doesn't want the perfect friendships, the perfect marriage, the perfect family, the perfect church, the perfect neighborhood.  Ohhhhhhhh,  the list could go on and on.

I've learned that expectations only bring heart ache.  Expectations are trusting in what I want instead of what is. Expectations are trusting in others being perfect when I am not.  Expectations put pressure and stress on others when each of us are simply human....humans that are muddling through life together.  Each of us wanting the "perfect" but none of us finding it.  For that matter, living this way puts us under great stress as we seek to "make things happen" when ultimately we have no control over anyone or most situations. Expectations that I have are saying that I am in control and I am not.

I remember the younger, more immature me.  Oh, I desired the perfect everything.  I mean, after all, doesn't the perfect "everything" mean you've achieved success?  Doesn't it mean, you've done it all right?  Doesn't it mean others will look to you and say, "wow, she did it ALL right?"  Oh my!  What was I thinking?  I mean, really, does human perfection even exist?  Is life perfect, EVER?  Do our perfect expectations ever come true?  Does a happily ever after really exist?  The answer to all of my questions is a big fat NO.......EXCEPT for my question, "Does a happily ever after really exist?"  I've learned that YES,  happily ever after does exist.  However, on this side of Heaven, it is something we can only long for BUT we can KNOW that it is true.  You see, God's Grace leads us along our imperfect lives everyday.  He knows what our hearts long for.  He knows we desire love and good things everyday, but sadly, our earthly human lives will always have expectations that are never met.  Why? Because we are always dealing with imperfect people and I would be the leader of the pact.  How can I expect such perfection, when I am such an imperfect person?   Looking to what can fill ME and make Me happy instead of living a servants life and my goal being to think NOT of myself but serving others in love?  How can I expect to be treated in perfect ways when I myself do not treat others with that same kind of perfection?

We don't have to live our lives here disappointed when our expectations are not met.  Yes, there are things in life that make us really sad and we wish for them to be different but, again, we are not in charge.  I've learned that when I leave my expectations in the Hands of the One who holds my life in His Hands, I can trust that He has it all under control. You know, to be perfectly honest, sometimes I  expect God to do things my way, because I'm pretty sure I know best, and He disappoints me too.  BUT GOD in His infinite mercy and love truly does know best and although seeing that from my imperfect perspective and VERY imperfect expectations doesn't make sense, I know that He does.  You see, He tells me in His Word this "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts."  Isaiah 55: 8-9.  I know God does not lie so I can stop living with my perfect expectations and trust in the One who knows best.

While I muddle through this journey I may have many days I feel unloved, or that my situation is horrible and nothing like I imagined or expected it to be but God is always with me and He loves me perfectly.  This is not an unrealistic expectation but a truth.  Jesus says to me and to you, "I am with you always until the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)  I've learned that life is life and it's best to take it as it comes.  When it seems overwhelmingly AWFUL, we can still rest in the One who has it ALL under His control.  You see, our happily ever after is coming.  The best is yet to come.  The glimpses of "perfection" we see here are a tiny, tiny blob of what's to come.  My perfect expectation of what's to come has been secured when Jesus died on the cross for you and me.  He has covered the very sinful Mary Jo with His blood.  I am forgiven and loved.  Not by anything I have done but only by Jesus, our Savior of the world.

I've learned to not expect things to be a certain way...well, I've MOSTLY learned that.  I've learned to take life as it comes and when my heart is sad and disappointed I simply (well, not so simply) trust in the One who knows my heart and loves me completely.   You see, that is an expectation I can count on.  He has taught me to be happy simply because.  Not because of anything I've done or might do...not because of anything anyone else has done for me (although that is so special) but simply because the One who is holding my "Happily Ever After" is trustworthy and true.

For now, I will continue to muddle through and live this life with all my imperfect expectations because I know those things my heart longs for MOST are waiting for me in Heaven.  "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying in pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  Revelation 21:4

I Finally Found Where I Belong

Fifty seven years and counting!  The journey has taken me to places I could never have imagined. The journey has brought so much blessing to my life but it has also brought sadness. It's so easy to accept that which the Lord gives - that which WE perceive as good but "bad" comes and we question and wonder why.  In Job 1:21 we read, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."  Wow!  Really Lord...."blessed be Your Name," in hardship? "Blessed be Your Name,"  in sickness?

Twelve years ago my life changed.  It changed in ways I could never have imagined.  When a doctor phones you and says, "I'm sorry.....you have cancer," you definitely don't say...."Blessed be the Name of the Lord.  When your boss tells you, "you're position has been eliminated," or "you're fired," I'm pretty confident that person doesn't say, "blessed be the Name of the Lord."  Those situation s are bad situations, right?  Or, are they?

God has blessed my life in beautiful ways.  Most people reading these words would think I mean that God has given me a perfect, happy and wonderful life.  He has....yes, but not in the perfect, happy and wonderful way you may be thinking.  Growing up with step parents was hard.  Moving around from school to school was hard.  Getting married young was hard.  However, through all that, I always knew there was a God.  Not only did I know it, I believed it.  For some reason He was always close to me....close to my heart and mind.  He was always drawing me to Himself.  Always.

As a young wife and mom I remember the struggle well.  I remember trying to give my family that perfect family.  I remember vowing that my children would always feel loved.  I remember vowing I would bring my children up to know Jesus and His beautiful love.  Easy, right??  Ummmmm.......not so much!  I mean, I set about doing it...you know.....that PERFECT thing.....let's just say, the harder I tried the more I failed.  There was the me wanting to "be" like those "perfect" people.  You know
them, right?  The ones that go to church and sit in the pew with their perfect families.  The ones with the perfect kids.  Ya, those people....I thought I needed to be like THOSE people, because after all, I loved Jesus and He loved me so if I tried to do all the RIGHT things, well then of course, Jesus would make me and my life like all those other peoples....perfect......RIGHT?  No arguing or fighting.  Kids that only loved Jesus and didn't do those things that wouldn't be pleasing to the parents or to Jesus. Right?  Those same people that were looking at me and others and saying, "I want to be perfect like them."

Oh my.......how naive.  How blind!  Fifty seven years later here I sit.  I look back over ALL these many years and say, THANK YOU, JESUS that I finally found where I belong.  Oh our loving Father!  Yes, "blessed be the Name of the Lord!"  You see, through it all His Hand was always there.  Yes, bad things still happened (and still do) and failures as a wife, mom and friend still happen (daily) BUT GOD.......He takes all the past, present and our future and works in it all to teach us.....to draw us closer to Him because He wants ALL of us.  He doesn't want to be our "leftover."  He doesn't want to be the One we turn to ONLY when the going gets tough.  He wants us ALL the time.

Twelve years ago God taught me that it is ok to be me.  He taught me that He truly does forgive.  He taught me that not only does He forgive but He takes those "bad" times in our lives and works them all together for good ....and those are not my words my friends, but God's.  It says in Romans 8:28 ... "for we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose."  Through sickness he taught me that we have no control. None!  God is sovereign and "all the days for us were written in His book before One came to be."  (Psalm 139:16). He taught me that He not only is enough but He has to be enough because at any given time our health, wealth, friendships etc. can be taken from us and that these lives He has given to us, need to be lived for Him and His glory because that is the only thing that will last.  He has taught me that I can "be still" because He is my God (Psalm 46:10).   He has taught me that worrying about what others think is not a worry I need to ever have because we are all in the same boat.  I have learned we truly are all the same in our desire to be loved and also in our lives being full of hardships.

As I found where I belong, I can now see that it takes all of it to bring us each day where we were meant to be.  Yes, God is good even when things don't look it.  We can't see the whole picture, but God can.  I have learned that trusting God to work all for His good does NOT mean all things turn out the way we expect or want.  Often the opposite is true.  But the main thing He taught me through it all is this.....There is only One who matters...truly matters...Jesus.  He loves me.  He loves you.  He has taught me that, THAT, is really all I need.  As I found where I belong, He has taught me that this life really isn't about me at all.  (really, it isn't - haha) but about serving in the Name of Jesus....proclaiming His salvation ... that all who believe in Him and His saving death on the cross will live with Him forever. (John 3:16)

I am so thankful for all God has taught me and that He has lovingly covered my sins and has taken such good care of my family and me.  I am so thankful for cancer and the many blessings I received because of it. You  may be thinking, well, that's easy for you to say because Yes, I lived (for now) but I know that when the Lord is finished with me, He will be calling me Home and that is where I belong.

The Journey

On this rainy, Tuesday morning, I find myself in a contemplative state of mind!  I feel so blessed to have this time to simply sit.  Or better stated, to "be still" in the presence of God.  This is where I find my peace and contentment.  His Word touches me in a way nothing else does.  His Word brings a balm of sorts   ~  a healing  ~  a joy....but mostly, it brings me reminders of where my real joy comes from.

Life brings so many things to us!  We wander and often times are confused and at a loss as to what this journey is about and where it is leading.  Yes, there is love and happiness here but there is definitely other emotions that riddle our journey ~ sadness, loneliness, fear, and uncertainty.  These aren't just emotions we feel, but these are things we live with while walking this journey. .....  Not to mention, all the evil that surrounds us.  This journey is not for naught.   It truly is a journey where we are being led and it has a definite purpose.  When the purpose has been fulfilled, the journey will end and we will cease to exist here on earth.  We can't understand not existing because this is all we know.   The evil around us is absolutely prevalent and hearing of it day after day (some days hour and after hour) truly reminds my heart of how I long for THAT DAY when sadness, loneliness, fear, uncertainty and evil will no longer exist.

It's so easy to latch on to whatever brings us happiness or love, comfort or a momentary peace, but those things will always disappoint us and leave us empty.  Always.  My mind thinks of food and how we often turn to it for our "happy" or our "comfort!"  Then there are the "things" we think bring us happiness.  They do, for a bit, but they too lose their lustre as it were.  I think of how social media is running rampant. Social Media is a huge part of our lives.  It can be good, yes, but it can also lead us down a road of comparison, jealousy, envy and tons of other emotions...none of which are good!  I think that is becoming the place of acceptance and/or acknowledgement for many of us.  I don't think we were meant to "live" in a place where everyone knows everyone's business.  I think taking care of our own "business" is tiring enough, much less concerning ourselves with everyone else's.  God wants for Him to be my "first love."  He wants me to go to Him for my acknowledgement and acceptance because He knows that it is only in Him that I can be truly satisfied.  He wants me to spend my time loving others and thinking less of me because He knows when I take my eyes off of me and love others that is when I will be truly happy.

Ahhhh, my contemplative state!  My heart is full of so many things.  My heart...always searching and
 seeking.  God is teaching me that "seeking Him first" is the best place to go.  Him first.  He is teaching me that living in peace and quietness is where my heart finds rest and a Spirit of contentment. He is teaching me that "the joy of the Lord is my strength."  He is teaching me that we are on this journey to serve and love.  After all, it is all about Him and not about us at all!

This life ~ our life ~ will cease to exist here.  And this journey we are on is so very short.  The Bible
instructs us to learn to "number our days" and that our "lives are simply a vapor."  My heart longs for that "Day" when my life will forever exist in Heaven because then, and only then, will all those longing I have in my heart be fulfilled.

As I sit this morning, and am still ~ I can't help but be so thankful that God's gift of Eternal life is just that....a GIFT.  Bought and paid for by our Savior Jesus.  My sins of yesterday, today and the ones I have yet to do, FORGIVEN.   Jesus suffered and died for me and for you.   There is nothing we can do to earn our way into Heaven....and thank God for that because what could I ever do that would be good enough?   He only asks one thing of us....that we "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and we will be saved."  (John 3:16). So simple...so easy.....it almost sounds unbelievable.  But, oh my friends, it is true.

Oh, the joys that fill my heart and mind as God reminds me of "Who" it is I live for and why.  We live to serve others and share the Gospel message.  That message that brings peace and hope to us.  As I find my joy in Him, He blesses me with His peace.  All that riddles my journey ~ our journey ~ are temporary.  The sadness and strife will end, and the joys we experience here are only a foretaste of what it will be like in Heaven.

Cyber Space Can't Touch

Sitting here this morning, many things are occupying my heart and mind.  So many hearts that are hurting and just wanting to be loved.  So many suffering depression and anxiety.  It seems to be getting worse as time goes on.  My prayer journal is full of prayers for those who suffer from this.  Today, while adding another request, my heart and mind started thinking.  

We live in a world where social media, emails and texts are the "norm!"  We need each other.  We need to love one another.  We need to hug one another.  We need to talk, face to face.  Cyber space isn't "real."  Cyber space is easy.  Cyber space is thinking about us and not others.  Cyber space doesn't have a face, a touch, tears or a smile.  Cyber space is often a "cop out!"

Social Media, emails and texting are convenient and can be very nice.  Reconnecting with others via social media is awesome.  Sending an email to just say "hi" or share some information is nice and fast.  Texting, too.....an awesome way to communicate.  However, we can't let technology replace REAL.  Real, heartfelt, face to face, "I care" kind of love.  Talking with one another and sharing what's REAL.  Being able to sit and listen with REAL eyes focused on a real person.  That's real!

Technology has made the world a very small place.  I love that. I love connecting with others, who share the same "love" as I do.  If I'm going to waste my time on Social Media, I like to "waste" it with others who share in the same things I love.  I love participating in online Bible study because when I am home, away from others, it's how I like to spend my time.  I also like sharing that which I love the most with others on Social Media because that's where everyone seems to be these days.   But by no means does that replace people time.  

It's safe, isn't it?  Hiding away in our little worlds and ignoring the world.  It's easy to "shoot" off a text or an e-mail and say "love you" or "I care."  Right?  Don't we all do it?  We feel better...at least we did something.  I know that's how I feel often times.  But then I hear of another suffering from "aloneness."  It's so sad!

I suppose as time progresses, things will continue on this path of disconnecting with "real" but my heart knows it is the wrong path.  God intends for us to come together....to share and love and grow as sisters and brothers in Christ.  In the end, it is all that matters.  I pray that I can disconnect more and reach out with real arms to a hurting world.