Blessings Abound

Life is a journey that takes many twists and turns.  We often experience mountain top highs but we also experience many valley lows.   Do blessings abound in both places?

Our natural inclination would be to say real blessing comes when life is good, when everyone is getting along, when we are treated with love and there are no problems.  Oh how blessed we feel at those times.  Often though,  it's in those times, we don't acknowledge the "blessing" and take what we've been given with no regard to the Giver.  Taking it all for granted, as it were.

I have learned in my own life, that it's almost always in those deep valley's that I'm blessed beyond measure. It's in those times that I realize or should say, remember, who the Giver of all good things is.  But, what is "good?"  Is "good" when life is the way we expect it be?  Is "good" when we have everything we want?  Or is "good" when we accept from the Hand of God what He gives us in that day? 

Trusting God and believing He is a faithful God is easy when God's Hand of blessing is upon us and life is good.  However, trusting God and believing He is a faithful God is not so easy when what comes our way is not exactly what we would call "good!"

"The Lord directs a persons steps.  Who are we to understand His ways?"  Proverbs 20:24.  I don't know about you, but knowing the Lord is directing my steps helps me better to trust in Him.  I don't necessarily see the "good" but I do know that He is a good and faithful God so trusting Him as He leads me is easier when I remember that.

I have found that when I focus on the blessings that abound in my life, I can truly see the Hand of God on this life He gives.  When I count my blessings and name them I can truly "see" faithfulness and love.  Even when life is hard, I can look and find blessings and then name them.   A curtain blowing in the breeze, the sunrise and the beauty God gives, a grandchild's hug, a refrigerator with food in it, a pillow to lay my head on, ....and the list can go on and on. 

I have found that this truth in Job 1:21, "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away" is what has to be central in my mind and heart.  His ways are not for me to understand but His blessings abound all over my life and I have to always be looking for them.  When I pay attention and stop taking for granted all He does in love, the blessings truly do abound and they are everywhere. 

I am so very thankful and even when I don't understand, I can trust our God because I know He is faithful.  Even when that which doesn't look like 'good' comes my way.  What I see as 'good' quite possibly is the worst thing I could want for.  God sees the whole picture.  I don't. 

So, as He gives and blessings abound in my life, I will trust our good God that gives.  He is faithful and He has a perfect plan for my life.  What that all entails, I don't know, BUT, He does. 

A dream.  A prayer.  An emptiness and loneliness that was hard to explain.   Feeling insecure and yet knowing that I belonged to God, but always feeling this emptiness, loneliness and yes, even depression.  My prayer was always that God would lead me to real contentment and peace.  True peace and contentment that is only found in Him.  But, how to get that?  I didn't know.  And, so begins my story.

When I was 28 years old, I lost my mom to cancer.   She was 47 years old when she died of pancreas cancer and I watched her suffer greatly and it left a mark on my heart and I knew this was not something I ever wanted.  I would often pray and ask God to please never allow cancer to touch my life.  I would plead and say, "please God, anything but that."  I was confident that He would never allow cancer to come into my body.  After all, I loved God so much.  I knew He loved me and He knew that living my life to please Him was something I always tried to do.  I mean, my "doing"  and trying to live a good life should mean something, right?   God knew my heart.  He knew, despite my sins, how much I loved Him so I truly believed that I could "control" this part of my life because it is what I wanted and God would honor that.

Although I didn't know it, then, this chapter of my life was God beginning to fulfill my dream, my prayer and desire to be rid of the loneliness, emptiness and sadness that occupied many of my days throughout most of the years of my life.  God was preparing me for what was coming in my life.  He was preparing me for the hardest and most fearful days of my life. 

Proverbs 20:24 says,  "A person's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?"  Also, Proverbs 3: 5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."   Oh, how I pray each of you reading these words would believe the words our Lord speaks to us.  He does not lie and His words are truth.  Only God can cause "all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose."  Romans 8:28.

Ten years ago, God allowed what I had pleaded with Him to never allow.  The date was June 23, 2005.  I went in for a biopsy of my right breast and although I was probably naïve and arrogant I truly NEVER BELIEVED anything would be wrong with me.  After all, I prayed and asked God to never let it be.  I was in control of this, so I had nothing to fear. Even the radiologist doing the biopsy said to me, "if I was a bettin' man I would say there is a 99 percent chance this is nothing."  I laughed a little and said, "oh, I have no doubt there is nothing wrong with me.  I am fine."  I was told I would here from my doctor in about a week with the results.  The next day, my husband went on motorcycle ride for the day, and I decided to do some thrift store shopping.  When I left the first thrift store, I got into my car and turned on the radio.  Joyce Meyer was talking and all I remember her saying was this, "whatever is going to happen today you can handle it with God's help."  I heard that and immediately knew I had breast cancer.  I believe God wanted me to hear this first before I got the phone call.  I ignored what I "felt" and continued bumming for a few more hours.  When I got home my answering machine was blinking.  I just knew it was my doctor. I pressed "play" and I heard, "Hi Mary Jo.  This is Dr. Martin.  Please call me when you get this."  I thought, "why is he calling me?"  "It has only been 24 hours and they told me a week."   I immediately called his office, and when I told the receptionist who I was she said she would get the doctor.   When he came on the line, I said hello and asked him how he was.  He said, "I am fine, but Mary Jo, I am so sorry to tell you this, but you have invasive ductal cell carcinoma."  BREAST CANCER!  I was so scared that I could hardly talk.  I was shaking and couldn't even cry.  I was so very scared and was home alone.  When I hung up the phone I just stood in the middle of the living room.  I eventually walked into our spare bedroom and sat on the bed.  All I remember is looking up to the heavens and saying, "Lord, if I ever needed you I need you now.  Lord, I have no idea what I am about to go through and no idea what your plan is for my life, but I ask that You would please use all I will go through for your Glory."  

June 24, 2005 was when the journey began.  The year and half that followed included, a double mastectomy, chemo, baldness, radiation and many, many tears.  I was on my knees more days that I can count pleading with God to help me with the worry and sadness my heart felt.   Although I don't remember  much of this journey, the journey itself is very real to me and my words today could never truly express the thankfulness I have everyday in my heart for what God knew was best for me.  You see, God took what I feared most, and used it to bring me my dream....the dream of living with God's peace in my heart.  The dream of truly believing that yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, He is all I need.  This journey is just that, a journey that is leading us Home to Heaven.   You see, for all of my life, I loved God and always felt a "pull" on my heart for Him, but I looked for my security and happiness in my husband, my children, my controlling things my way, and in "doing" all those things I thought God wanted of me to "show" how much I loved Him and for Him to honor all those things I asked of Him because I tried to do all I thought He wanted.  

You see, this really isn't my story, it is God's.  God showed me His love in allowing what I needed in my life to be brought to my knees and simply trusting that He had my life in His Hand's and He had a plan for my life.  Yes, He did know my heart and He knew that the only way I could experience true peace - that "peace that passes all understanding"  was when I surrendered all my "doing" and fears and gave that all over to Him.  God gave me His peace when I read this verse..."all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one came to be."  Psalm 139:16.  He knew my life from the beginning.  He knew all that would come upon me.  He is my God.  Nothing surprises Him and no matter what I was going through each day through this journey, He knew.  He was with me and He will be with me until the end.

This journey, not only changed my life and gave me that peace and contentment I was praying for.  I became a very thankful person and never take a day for granted.  God has used my life since cancer to bring His love to others in need of Jesus.  It truly has been amazing and ONLY GOD could do all that He has done through me.  

I now look at the thing that caused me the most fear...CANCER as my biggest and best blessing.  It has changed my life in every way and all for the better.  I praise God for His sovereignty and the love He has for us all.  We may not understand His ways, but His Word also tells us that...  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  Isaiah 55:8.  You see, He can be trusted.  He is a God of love.