It has taken me many years to get rid of that kind of thinking but I think I am there. Not perfectly, but for the most part. It was a hard process to get through. I mean, what person doesn't want the perfect friendships, the perfect marriage, the perfect family, the perfect church, the perfect neighborhood. Ohhhhhhhh, the list could go on and on.
I've learned that expectations only bring heart ache. Expectations are trusting in what I want instead of what is. Expectations are trusting in others being perfect when I am not. Expectations put pressure and stress on others when each of us are simply human....humans that are muddling through life together. Each of us wanting the "perfect" but none of us finding it. For that matter, living this way puts us under great stress as we seek to "make things happen" when ultimately we have no control over anyone or most situations. Expectations that I have are saying that I am in control and I am not.
I remember the younger, more immature me. Oh, I desired the perfect everything. I mean, after all, doesn't the perfect "everything" mean you've achieved success? Doesn't it mean, you've done it all right? Doesn't it mean others will look to you and say, "wow, she did it ALL right?" Oh my! What was I thinking? I mean, really, does human perfection even exist? Is life perfect, EVER? Do our perfect expectations ever come true? Does a happily ever after really exist? The answer to all of my questions is a big fat NO.......EXCEPT for my question, "Does a happily ever after really exist?" I've learned that YES, happily ever after does exist. However, on this side of Heaven, it is something we can only long for BUT we can KNOW that it is true. You see, God's Grace leads us along our imperfect lives everyday. He knows what our hearts long for. He knows we desire love and good things everyday, but sadly, our earthly human lives will always have expectations that are never met. Why? Because we are always dealing with imperfect people and I would be the leader of the pact. How can I expect such perfection, when I am such an imperfect person? Looking to what can fill ME and make Me happy instead of living a servants life and my goal being to think NOT of myself but serving others in love? How can I expect to be treated in perfect ways when I myself do not treat others with that same kind of perfection?
We don't have to live our lives here disappointed when our expectations are not met. Yes, there are things in life that make us really sad and we wish for them to be different but, again, we are not in charge. I've learned that when I leave my expectations in the Hands of the One who holds my life in His Hands, I can trust that He has it all under control. You know, to be perfectly honest, sometimes I expect God to do things my way, because I'm pretty sure I know best, and He disappoints me too. BUT GOD in His infinite mercy and love truly does know best and although seeing that from my imperfect perspective and VERY imperfect expectations doesn't make sense, I know that He does. You see, He tells me in His Word this "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9. I know God does not lie so I can stop living with my perfect expectations and trust in the One who knows best.
While I muddle through this journey I may have many days I feel unloved, or that my situation is horrible and nothing like I imagined or expected it to be but God is always with me and He loves me perfectly. This is not an unrealistic expectation but a truth. Jesus says to me and to you, "I am with you always until the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20) I've learned that life is life and it's best to take it as it comes. When it seems overwhelmingly AWFUL, we can still rest in the One who has it ALL under His control. You see, our happily ever after is coming. The best is yet to come. The glimpses of "perfection" we see here are a tiny, tiny blob of what's to come. My perfect expectation of what's to come has been secured when Jesus died on the cross for you and me. He has covered the very sinful Mary Jo with His blood. I am forgiven and loved. Not by anything I have done but only by Jesus, our Savior of the world.
I've learned to not expect things to be a certain way...well, I've MOSTLY learned that. I've learned to take life as it comes and when my heart is sad and disappointed I simply (well, not so simply) trust in the One who knows my heart and loves me completely. You see, that is an expectation I can count on. He has taught me to be happy simply because. Not because of anything I've done or might do...not because of anything anyone else has done for me (although that is so special) but simply because the One who is holding my "Happily Ever After" is trustworthy and true.
For now, I will continue to muddle through and live this life with all my imperfect expectations because I know those things my heart longs for MOST are waiting for me in Heaven. "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying in pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
