Joyful

I haven’t written a blog post in a while and I usually don’t write one until I “feel” filled up inside with lots of words that need to come out.  Today is that day.

My heart and mind are full.  Full of words...full of Joy and full of so many thank you moments.  In this world that is crazy and unprecedented during this COVID time, I am joyful.  I am not joyful over sickness, death and sadness.  I am not joyful because so many have lost jobs and there is so much uncertainty.  I am not joyful that houses of Worship have been closed because of COVID spreading.  None of these things bring joy to me.  I see fighting amongst friends in the name of politics and I see fighting amongst politicians on who is right and who is wrong.  Nope, doesn’t me bring joy at all.

As we walk through this uncertain time, I remind myself that COVID or not, nothing on this side of Heaven is ever certain.  Nothing.  This “time” is just another reminder that uncertainty exists for us all.  “Here today, gone tomorrow,” as it were.  I am reminded  in the Book of Job, that “the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the Name of the Lord.”  (Job 1:21 ESV).  Am I joyful when uncertainty exists?  Am I joyful when the Lord has “taken away” from me?  No, I’m not.  At least as far as earthly joy goes.  But I am joyful.  Joyful because I know who is Sovereign over it all.  I am joyful because whatever uncertainty comes my way I have a Savior who never changes.  He is always the same, yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8 ESV). He reminds me, in His Word, that this certainly is not the end of the story.  He reminds me, in His Word, that I have a job to do.....we all have a job to do.  We need to proclaim the Gospel to the ends of the earth and “love our neighbor as ourself.” (Matthew 22:39). We need to share the joy of having a Savior who died for our sins and rose again on the third day.  We need to share the hope that is only found in Him .  He, Jesus, is our Peace.  (Ephesians 2:14).   This brings me joy...it brings me purpose...it brings certainty to my heart.

As I think on these last few months and the totally different way of life that has existed in some shape or form for us all, I can think of so many reasons to be thankful.  Technology has brought us together in ways we never could have imagined.  Worship and Bible study could still happen.  Different, yes, but it happened nonetheless.  “Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ” (Romans 8:38 ESV) - no nothing.  Where the Word exists, there He is.  I am reminded, in that certain Word, that my God is surprised by nothing.   “God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose.”  (Romans 8:28 ESV).   Our God is faithful and His plan is perfect.  Through death, sickness, job loss or any other calamity, my God...our God...is here.  The world can take from me what it will, but no one can take my Jesus from me.  My salvation and hope is in Him and Him alone and this brings my heart joy.

I am thankful that God’s Word touches hearts and brings people to Him.  His Word, it is transforming and  “never returns void - always accomplishing what it was purposed to do.” (Isaiah 55:11 ESV).  If I have nothing at all....nothing...yet have Jesus, I have everything.

I pray His Word touches you and your heart.  Let Him in... “He stands at the door and knocks.” (Rev. 3:20 ESV). This world...it is only temporary.  Our pain and our sadness will end.  One day, every tear will be wiped off of our faces  and there will be no more sickness, death, sadness or mourning.  (Rev. 21:4 ESV)

This world.....beautiful and ugly.  This world....uncertain with a certain future. This world brings me joy because I am not “of this world” but just journeying through.

Yes, I have joy and I thank God, for giving me “the peace which passes all understanding.” (Phil. 4:7 ESV). Trust Him with your life and your circumstances.  You can.  He is faithful and just to do everything and all for His Glory.

Covid19 Thoughts Continued

I think it’s 2 weeks now that we’ve been in lockdown 😳 or isoloation or whatever the heck you want to call it.  At first I couldn’t even believe this Covid-19 was really happening and our world literally was shutting down.  Now, 2 weeks later, I believe it but there are still days I can’t wrap my head around it all.  Today, being one of those days.

I find myself often looking up to the Heavens and asking God questions.  Questions like.....”Would you please give us ears to hear and eyes to see what it is you want us to “get” from this?”  I also find myself saying often, “Lord what are you saying to us?”

I have no doubt the Lord is speaking....not even a little doubt!   Why do I know this?  Because I know that the Lord is among us.  I know that He is control of the entire universe and nothing....no nothing...happens that He is not aware of.  God allows what God allows for HIS purposes and His plan.  And, as a child of God, I know ...yes I know...that His plan is always good.

You may be thinking, ‘how in the word could any of this be good?’  The only way ANY of this could be good is if it is drawing us closer to God.  Because as I have learned and continue to learn in my 60 years of life is that God is the only One who can satisfy our hurting souls....the only One who can satisfy our hurting world.

I, like the rest of you, don’t understand any of this.  Only God knows why.  As I sit here this morning, my heart is at peace because I know God holds me AND you all in the palms of His Hand.  I know He is calling us all to come to Him because He loves us.

Reflecting on these words from Zephaniah 3:17 this morning bring me peace and hope.  I pray, as I type, that they also bring you the same.

“The Lord your God is in your midst; A Mighty One who will save;  He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.”

Covid19 Thoughts

Tonight, as I sit here alone, I can’t help but reflect on all that is going on.  What IS going on?  Covid-19, I know.  But, what IS going on?  It’s almost unfathomable.  I mean an entire country.....world.....shut down.   Sometimes I literally just stop and have to think to myself, is this for real?

I can’t  help but ask myself what lesson we are to be learning in all this.  This can’t be all for nothing, right?

Lately, my heart keeps going back to these words...”trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”   I do trust Him but that is not to say I am not confused and wonder what is going on.

I am learning so much through this time.  I’m learning simple is best.  I’m learning I don’t need much.  I’m learning that wasting money on things that aren’t necessary is so easy.  I’m learning that loving your family and treating one another with love is important because tomorrow is never promised.  I’m learning busy, busy, busy robs us of what is most important.  I’m learning that what IS Most Important, - our Heavenly Father -  is truly all we need.  If He isn’t our “enough” than we will lack peace and joy and true happiness.

That’s what I’ve learned and I am thankful.

God is good and can be trusted.  Why?  Because He is faithful.

Good night all.  Sleep in peace and trust that your Heavenly Father loves you more than you could ever imagine.

BUT GOD

 Every year since 2005 I think I have posted about June, of 2005...the year my life changed FOREVER. However, often times the post is seen more as a “sympathy” post instead of how I mean for the post to be seen. Hence, the reason why I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this year.

This morning I was thinking about it and thought, yes, I will post it. The reason my life changed in 2005 is really not important. What is important is focusing on God’s truth and promises.

Fourteen years ago....my life changed forever. It was an extremely hard time in my life. Emotionally I had a very hard time grappling with it. I was depressed, anxious and afraid. Very afraid. BUT GOD! 

For those who know me, know that my faith in God and love for His Word are who I am...who HE CREATED me to be, however, what you may not know is how my happiness and joy in the here and now was my focus. Not just my happiness but those in my life. I made it my goal and when life wasn’t what I thought it should be my world was rocked. I felt sad and that it was my fault because I am “not good” at living this life God has called me to live. So my everyday I focused on being everything to everybody. BUT GOD!

Then God ROCKED MY WORLD. He allowed a tragedy (as I saw it) to TOUCH ME. Why God? You know I love you? I don’t want this..I want good and happy! BUT GOD!

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:11. “All the ways ordained for me were written in His book before one came to be.” Ps. 139:16. “For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purposes.” Romans 8:28.  Oh yes......my God took a tragedy and turned it into MY BLESSING. Why?  I am so underserving.  It wasn’t because of ME at all. NOT AT ALL. It’s because He loves me enough to use me to share His LOVE which brings GLORY TO HIM. I’ve learned this journey is just that....a JOURNEY which is leading us HOME...to our ETERNAL HOME to live with our SAVIOR FOREVER. It’s not about us or our happiness at all. It’s not about me being anything but a child of God. To live in His love and to please only One....my God. It’s only about the happiness we have in Jesus. To live in light of Eternity. To rejoice regardless of where God has us because His ways are always good. Ohhhh, they surely may not seem good...and from an earthly perspective surely are not...BUT GOD! He can and does use ALL for our good. To bring us where we need to be....AT THE FEET OF JESUS.  

If my life could do just one thing...to point others to Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior....that would be more than enough. If my heart and life could impress upon just one person the JOY in following hard after Jesus, I would be so very happy. The journey SURELY isn't always filled with JOY, however, your heart will have more joy than you ever could have imagined because when we are ABIDING in Him we can only be filled with love and joy.  I pray that all who read this blog post would immerse yourselves in His Word ~ the Bible. It is God speaking to us.  It is TRUTH.  It brings peace and comfort. It is filled up with God's MANY, MANY PROMISES to His children and those PROMISES are TRUTHS.  It is in those truths we find our JOY AND PEACE.

Thank You Jesus for 2005. Thank You for loving ME and walking with me every step of the way on my journey that YOU have walked BEFORE ME.  When all seemed hopeless and scary....YOU God took what appeared awful and turned it into a redemptive story.  

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY.

The Journey~The Lessons~The Blessings. ❤️❤️

Today's blog is special to me.  It is an annual one for me that reminds me of the journey I am on.  The lessons I have learned and the very many blessings that are mine.

Thirteen years ago I heard the words, “you have cancer.”  Not exactly the words I ever wanted to hear and when I first heard them I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  The thoughts running through my mind at that time were ~ ‘I’m only 45 years old, there is no way’ ~ ‘I’m healthy’ ~ ‘There is nothing wrong with me’ ~ ‘I’ve prayed and prayed that cancer would never touch me, so, why Lord.’   So many things rattled through my brain and I was in shock.  Fear immediately crept in and lived with me for many years.  I came to realize that I had no control and I never did.  WHAT?  🙄 I realized that bad things can happen to me (even if I said they couldn’t) and there wasn’t a darn thing I could do about it.  Talk about fearful.  For this type A personality, it was VERY FEARFUL.   So what did I do? Well, the only thing a type A personality would do...I read everything I could about my type of cancer so I could control my situation.  Makes sense, right? WRONG!

God surely had some work to do in me and I wanted Him to do it ~ PRONTO!!  I didn’t want to be fearful.  I didn’t want to feel the need to control my situation but truly, I knew no other way.  The saying goes, “let go and let God!”  OK, that sounds good, doesn’t it, but how in the world do you do that.

I spent many hours on my knees in prayer.  Lord, please help me!  Lord, please give me peace.  Lord, make me well.  Lord, help me to TRUST YOU.  And there it was, TRUST!  I always believed in God.  I always prayed to God.  I always loved God but did I TRUST God.  Well, I did trust Him but that was when things went the way I thought they should go.  Did I trust Him when I couldn’t control my situation?  I’d love to say I did, but sadly, I did not.  Who of us wouldn’t say that trusting God is easy when life is good?  When we are in a tough situation and have no clue where the journey will take us, well, trusting is just hard.  We want some guarantee that it will all turn out well.  We want to know that things will turn out the way we want them too.  Don’t we?

Even before my cancer journey began, I always desired peace ~ that real “be still” kind of peace!  The kind of peace the Bible speaks about.   The kind of peace I knew my Heavenly Father wanted me to have but how in the world do I go about attaining that peace?   Notice my wording in that last sentence? I said, “how in the world do I go about  attaining that peace?”  Again, it was all about ME taking charge.  Me doing something.  Me being the one that had to DO.  Oh how I prayed and prayed and prayed.  Lord, give me peace.  Please Lord, give me peace!  I remember that it was a deep, deep desire in me for many years before my cancer journey began.  I asked God for it multiple times a day.  I wasn't happy but didn't know why I wasn't.  But, God knew.

Slowly, the Lord started working in me.  He led me to His Word for strength.  He led me to 2 particular devotion books that helped me.  Ever so slowly God was filling me with what I needed. I was certainly in a "valley low" but God was working in me in that valley and slowly bringing me out.   On February 10, 2008 I wrote this on the bottom page of one of my daily reads............................

“Control - Oh Lord you know me. Control is my middle name.  As far as my health and my fears I try to DO whatever I can to live free of trouble.  Help me Lord to let You be the God of my life.  I can fight and resist all I want but you are in control of this body and life.  Help me to let go.”   My heart was really hurting.  Fear was still within me and peace was far off.   I continued praying, reading my Bible and devouring anything Godly.  I would walk a lot and pray and sing praises (and cry) as I continued to put one foot in front of the other. Then one day I was reading a book called, “Grace Through The Tough Times” by Mary J. Nelson and read this...................................................

“I thought I knew Him before.  I went to church on Sunday and, unless there was a crisis, I kept Him conveniently tucked away in the spiritual compartment of my life until the next Sunday.  I thought I understood everything He had to show me. All through those years I thought I was a Christian and I never knew Him at all. One day I landed in the fiery furnace, He tenderly reached out His hand through the flames and gave me two choices:  I could face my uncertain future on my own or I could trust Him.”

There’s the word again...TRUST.   God was showing me that the peace I longed for wouldn’t come until I trusted Him as the God of my life.  As I would read my Bible verses were really speaking to my heart....this one in particular hit me like a ton of bricks and I focus on it often to this day.  It says - “all the days ordained for you were written in His book before one came to be.”  Psalm 139:16.  I read it again and it slowly started sinking in.  All the days I will live God knows about.  He knows what today will hold and tomorrow and the next day.  He knows and He’s in control.  I was His before I was even born.  Jeremiah 1:5 told me this, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”  Then there was this from Proverbs 20:24 ~ “How can we understand the road we travel? It is the Lord who directs our steps.”   Newsflash:  The Lord directs my steps.  Not Mary Jo.

More and more each day God’s peace has become mine.  Yes, I still worry at times and yes, I still want to control (at times) but nothing like I use too.  When I find myself back in that way of thinking and doing,  I will speak these verses and many others to myself.  I remind myself that this journey is directed by God and that it is all for HIS GLORY.  Throughout the journey we will encounter many trials but God is with us and has much to teach us.  The lessons He teaches are the best.  The journey and the lessons produce many, many blessings.  From a worldly perspective we generally view blessings as something material....more money, a new car, a skinny body etc.  But those are not the best blessings. The best blessings are spiritual blessings ~ peace, contentment, trust, being drawn closer to our Lord and being able to peacefully live in the knowledge that God is in control of this life and all we do is for His Glory.

God is faithful and when pain and trials come into our life,  He is with us. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. Romans 8:28 tells us this..."for we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and were called according to His purpose."

I am thankful for my journey and for all the Lord has taught me in the valley low.  He has raised me up and has blessed me with peace, contentment, happiness and a true joy deep in my spirit.  I belong to Him.  He loves me and Heaven is my Home.  To God be all the glory forever and ever.  Amen

Do I?

Do I trust God?  Do I?  Or, do I just say I do?  Is it something my brain and heart just say because that is what I should say, or do I trust Him?  When I read His Word do I believe it is Truth or do I just say that it is?

Yes, I do trust God and yes, I really do believe His Word is truth, however, as I say those words, do I live that way?  Do I walk through the day with a heart that is peaceful because I truly do believe I am here for His purposes?

The journey can be so confusing and I tend to focus on me and my happiness instead of God and His purpose.  God makes it pretty clear to me on His purpose for me...for us.  He says this.... “and this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.” 1 John 3:28.”  And again, Jesus said this...... …Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28: 18-20

Yes, I trust and yes, I believe His Word is truth and as the father of the sick child proclaimed in Matthew 9:24 - “yes I believe; help my unbelief.”

Those Days

When you feel alone ~ you enjoy the quiet moment and yet, you feel alone.  When you know God is your guide and yet you wonder if you are really following.  When you feel as if you don’t matter, yet others count on you.  When it seems like everyone is living love with family and yet you feel alone. When you feel you’ve made so many mistakes and being lonely is the result.  And yet..love is here.  God is here and He is mine.  Even amidst my mistakes, my Savior forgives me and is leading me Home.  I am following and when I fail Him, He lovingly and gently leads me along.  He brought me here to love and encourage others in Jesus’ love and when I need it I have God’s Word.  When others don’t have time to give, I rest in knowing my ulitmate comfort can only come from God.  The fear of rejection is real and reaching out only to be ignored or said no to is hard on my heart.  It makes me feel as if something is wrong with me.  So then, it’s easier to just be alone where I’m safe and let love come to me when they want.  My heart is always open to those I love but I’m not sure I give what they want.  Am I selfish?  I hope not.  Do I make known that I love them beyond words?  I hope so.  Would I love to hear I am loved?  I would.

I hang onto my God who loves me best.  I pray that He would make me a person that brings love and looks for nothing in return.  I pray that I would not think about me but instead think about all those times I have rejected others and said no to them.  Although my intent could never be to hurt them, I’m sure that’s what I do when I think of myself first and others second.

Loneliness is real and it plagues us all.  In life I’ve learned that love and kindness is something each of us desire.  I’ve learned that wanting it is a deep need for us all, but reaching out to love and be kind is something so much different.  It’s easier to be the victim instead of being the one to reach out.  It’s funny really, but it’s when we reach out and think more of others than self that those lonely feelings
go away.

So Lord, teach me on those days to reach out and love.  Lord, teach me on those days to remember feelings are only feelings.  Feelings aren’t usually truth but are just what happens on those days.